Documenting your Funeral with Videography

Documenting important events has been something we do for decades, and over the last several years videography for weddings, births, and even just family outings has become common place. But what about videography for your funeral? We have heard about live streaming your funeral, but actually making a video to remember the day and watch later?  

Professionally filming your funeral has become very popular in New Zealand, and videographer/editor Juliet Campbell makes a great point that it is a way for family and friends who live overseas or who can't attend to be able to see the funeral, commenting that they sends "heaps of DVDS overseas." Campbell brings up the fact that a lot of times family is going through such a hard time it can be hard for them to remember everything from the day, and having it documented in this way provides them the opportunity to go back if they want, adding that the video also acts as an archive for families for who was in attendance.

With funerals making a shift towards "celebrations of life" I guess it would make sense to document such an event, especially since they tend to be a family reunion of sorts. There is a joke in the pre-need funeral business that people spend so much money on a wedding when so many marriages aren't a guarantee. However, when the one guarantee in life is that you will one day pass, people don't want to spend money on their funerals.

Campbell reiterates that filming a funeral isn't a morbid thing, but like watching a biography of the persons life. In New Zealand, professional filming of your funeral has become a service offered by many funeral homes. Read more HERE.

With the younger generation documenting everything from what they had for lunch, to what they are wearing for the day, maybe this isn't such a weird idea after all. Funeral homes should take note of this new line of business that could prove to become common place in the funeral industry very soon! 

Holographic Eulogies Will Allow You to Speak at Your Own Funeral

Who will attend your funeral? 

This has been a question posed by society for hundreds of years as a way for us to reflect on our lives, our influence, and our purpose. I am sure given the opportunity we would all like to be a fly on the wall at our own funeral. But with new advances in technology, have you ever thought that in a small way, you could be? And I am not talking about the fact that your body will be present, but what if you could actually have a voice, a real presence? Carl Minardo and his partner believe they have come up with the answer.

They were inspired by the infamous film, Star Wars. They thought, what if you could do a hologram, but in a mausoleum? They took their idea and started a company called AIM (Artistry In Motion) Holographics, where they hope to change the future of funerals by giving people the ability to prerecord their own eulogy with 3D holographic technology. “It gives you an opportunity to talk to the people who are important in your life and, really, let them know how much they meant to you,” Carl explains. 

The website explains further, "Have you ever wished you had some tangible memory of a passed loved one? Yearned to see your parents or grandparents one more time? To hear their voice, see their smile, listen to their stories? This is what drives AIM. We want you to create your life’s legacy so your grandchildren, great grandchildren and beyond will remember who you are, your family’s timeless values and what family means to you. Our company makes those emotion, memories, and messages eternally available."

Carl says the eulogy or any other message or video is recorded in a studio and featured on projectors both small and large. “It’s as realistic as you can get without it being you. Other than you coming up and being here, this is the closest it’s going to be in 3-dimension,” he said.

With so many people opting for cremations today, Minardo sees this as an opportunity to work with funeral homes to help them maintain some revenue, and to tap into the 76-million baby boomers driving the funeral business.

I will say, I think it would be a nice surprise to make an "appearance" at my own funeral and say a few words to all my friends and loved ones! So what do you think? Would you utilize this high-tech way to keep your legacy alive?

What’s a Death Midwife? Inside the Alternative Death Care Movement

From funeral cooperatives to green burials, there’s a kinder, gentler, less expensive way to die

Char Barrett walked into a quaint cafe in Seattle with business in mind.

Over the smell of coffee and freshly baked tarts, she was going to advise a client on how best to host a special event at her home, helping coordinate everything from the logistics of the ceremony, to how to dress the guest of honor. People might cry, they might laugh, and all attention would be on the person of the hour—only that person would never see, hear, or enjoy the festivities, because they would be dead.

“People looked at me like I had two heads when I said, ‘Keep the body at home after the person dies,’” says Barrett, a Seattle-based funeral director and certified “death midwife.” “For families who want it, they should have the right to do it.”

Barrett has been practicing home funerals in the area since 2006 through her business, A Sacred Moment. In a home funeral service, the body is either brought back to the family from the place of death or stays at home if the person died there. The family then washes the body, in part to prepare it for viewing and in part as a ritual.

“It’s really the way we used to do it,” says Barrett.

To Barrett and many other professionals who are offering alternatives to the more status-oriented, profit-driven funeral industry, it’s time to rethink how we handle death. From consumer cooperatives that combat price gouging, to putting the power of choice back in the hands of the family, the city of Seattle has become a hub for alternative death care in the last two years, according to Barrett. The subculture of “deathxperts” want not only to empower their clients, but also potentially phase out their jobs altogether—a sort of death of the funeral director as we know it.

A History of Death

For the majority of human history, families handled arrangements for the deceased, from the time immediately after death, to burial or cremation. Until the advent of modern hospitals and health care at the turn of the last century, it was the norm for the old and sick to die at home surrounded by loved ones.

During the Civil War, embalming as a form of preservation found a foothold when Union soldier casualties needed to be transported from the sweltering South to mourning families in the North. Today, its pragmatic purpose is to temporarily stop decomposition for viewing and final goodbyes. However, the overwhelming majority of contemporary consumers don’t realize that, in most cases, it’s not legally required to bury a body, although special circumstances vary from state to state.

So why has probably every American funeral you’ve been to had an embalmed body in attendance?

As 20th century consumerism took hold and people were more likely to die in a hospital than at home, death receded from public consciousness. If a loved one were to die today, you would probably call and pay a funeral home to pick her up from wherever she took her last breath. They would wash her, embalm her, and dress her to your family’s liking. You would briefly visit her one last time at a mortuary or a chapel before she was either buried or burned. In all likelihood, her last bodily contact before disposition would be with a complete stranger.

Things get weird at NYC’s Funeral Home for the rich and famous!

A few weeks ago we blogged about the woman who went from socialite to funeral planner. Take an in depth look at her book “Good Mourning.”

It’s the place New York City’s elite are dying to get into: Frank E. Campbell, the illustrious funeral home that has waked everyone from Rudolph Valentino to Biggie Smalls, John Lennon to Joan Rivers, Walter Cronkite to Heath Ledger.

At Campbell, confidentiality is key, and even in death — that great equalizer — celebrities are supposed to go out with more elegance and style than the rest of us. Jackie O, for example, was embalmed in her apartment so that the press wouldn’t get a photo of her in a body bag. Instead, she was removed from her Fifth Avenue apartment building in a casket.

“High-five figure services were regular,” says Elizabeth Meyer, a 30-year-old socialite who spent five years working at Campbell. “But we had some six-figure funerals as well. There’s no right or wrong — it’s what you want to spend.”

In her new memoir, “Good Mourning” (Gallery Books), Meyer writes about the strangest services and corpses she pulled together — and things at Campbell, or “Crawford,” as it’s called in the book, aren’t as chic as you might think.

There was the room she converted into a replica of Bungalow 8, replete with palm trees and a DJ, so mourners could properly send off an infamous party boy. His family buried him in his favorite things: a Snoopy T-shirt and bright green sneakers, a bottle of absinthe in his hand.

On the guest list: royalty and rockers, socialites and designers. “It all felt a little empty,” Meyer writes. “My fears were confirmed when I saw guests coming out of the bathroom with red noses. Suddenly it made sense why the family had asked if the upstairs bathroom had marble countertops.”
There was the tour bus parked outside for guitarist Les Paul; the $100,000 Ferrari placed next to the casket of a millionaire car collector, who was buried with a black Ferrari jacket and a gold chain. (Names have been changed, but identifying details remain.)

There were the two women who called for the same husband, each completely unaware of the other. Meyer was at a loss; her boss, on the other hand, had seen just about everything. He called one widow, then the other, explaining that two identical phone calls had come in about the same man.
“These people, I tell ya,” Meyers’ boss said. She asked if the widows were surprised. “Even when they don’t know, they know,” he said.

He had two wakes for two families, though the widows rode to the cemetery in the same car.
Then there was the phone call from the son of a socialite who had just passed away and was about to be embalmed at Campbell. Meyer didn’t know she was there.

“I have a favor to ask,” he said. “I need . . . my sister and I . . . we need . . . Can you tell me that my mother’s brain is in her head?”

Funeral Directors: Are You Practicing Basic Blocking & Tackling Skills?

I have once again survived the drought that begins at the end of the Super Bowl and finally starts sprinkling this time of year… ITS FOOTBALL SEASON! From little boys to professionals, pre-season practices and scrimmages are abundant preparing for official kick off. Whether a 6 year on the field for the first time to the seasoned pro veteran, everyone works on the basics of blocking and tackling. So why don’t funeral directors have regular “practice” on the basics?

Just recently, I was part of a training exercise at a large volume funeral home. The training focus was for phone discussions with consumers whether they were a shopper, pre-planning or at-need inquiry. This part of a funeral director’s job is rarely practiced, monitored much less honed. The engagement with callers is critical to the success of funeral homes as the conversation between the funeral director and inquirer can determine if the firm is selected for services.

Fortunately for this particular funeral home, their leadership understands and provides directors regular relevant training for various aspects of a funeral directors job. However, with certainty I know that training is the exception rather than the rule for a vast majority of funeral homes. As an owner or director, have you ever wondered why business is slow, your firm is losing market share to others or the revenue per call is in a downward spiral? A coach on the sidelines sees when his offense consistently jumps off-sides, missed tackles, fumbles, interceptions and so on. What is the difference in the approach to the problems? Training, practice and coaching.

Funeral homes have sidelined their “players” by not offering regularly scheduled meaningful training. Unfortunately the industry has created a mess for funeral directors educationally. Once graduated from Mortuary School, the only “training” that is offered for funeral directors come from CEU’s or seminars. CEU’s are mandated, however often provide no practicum (with the exception of regulatory classes) and none have a pass/fail requirement. Basically, just attending is the standard. As for seminars, the majority of directors are not privy to such because the firm leadership/owners usually attend. Thus, “the field” is full of players with no practice for a game plan with potential for devastating losses.

Solutions? First, funeral home leadership must recognize that training/practice is a solution to literally every challenge. Second, find an experienced/credible coach and program for training. There are “consultants” that make a lot of money prolonging the problems by not producing measurable results…many that never even “played the game” and don’t own a team. A casket rep training YOU on how to handle phone calls…pathetic! Finally, be determined. Successful teams build programs with consistency; not fancy plays, a star player or gimmicks.

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How This Woman Went From Socialite to Funeral Planner

At 21 years old, Elizabeth Meyer was living the life, partying at the hottest Manhattan clubs and flying to Europe on the weekends. But when she was a junior in college, her father suddenly passed away, leaving her not only grieving his death but also unsure about what to do next. Bored with traditional funeral services, Meyer jumped into what she knew well — party planning — and threw a large celebration of her father's life, including Rolling Stones music and thousands of dollars' worth of her mother's favorite flowers.

A year later, Meyer went back to that same funeral home and asked for a job. She ended up working there for three years, and in her new memoir, Good Mourning, she offers a behind-the-scenes look into one of the most legendary funeral homes in the country. Meyer talked to Cosmopolitan.com about why she chose this unexpected career path, the pressures of planning high-end funerals, and how her work completely changed her outlook on life.

Many people experience death and have different methods of coping. But what you did was a really unique response to grief. Why take it this far? I was told in high school that you only fear that what you don't know. After my father passed away, I realized that I didn't know death, and the only way to be comfortable with it was to immerse myself in it. So I took the job in the funeral home. Death is such a taboo topic. I realized if I could open doors to the funeral industry, perhaps more people would become comfortable with death and start a real conversation about grieving.

You joined the funeral home a year after your father's death. Why the wait? I made the move after I graduated from NYU so going to work before then wasn't an option. I think a lot of people were under the impression this decision was just out of grief. They feared that I'd become morbid and that I was trying to stay with death rather than move away from it. I attempted to go back to all the things I loved before my dad passed away. I tried to go back to public relations, nonprofit work, and I just didn't feel complete in any of those jobs.  

Your mother asked you repeatedly why you were doing this. Was there a part of you was rebelling? Sure. In retrospect, perhaps that was the case, but that was certainly not the main reason. I was rebelling, but it wasn't just as a daughter rebelling against her mother; it was that I had a gut feeling that I had to be there. I wish she could have understood then, but I realize now that she had the best intentions for me. She thought I had so many opportunities that I should take advantage of instead. But now it's a completely different conversation. When my mother realized that I wasn't going to lose my smile and that I was really helping people, she accepted it. 

 What was your day-to-day at the funeral home like? It's a business, like any other. Your day starts off with a cup of coffee, obviously. You go about your day seeing what funerals are scheduled, what wakes are happening that night, how late people will be in the building, who is going to be there. You make sure the carpets are clean, that the mints are in their trays. And then at the drop of a dime, you can have a funeral come in and your day completely changes. A big part for me was learning to adapt. I love to prepare for things and I love schedules. But funerals happen 24/7 and plans change. Everything has to be perfect. The family in the funeral home has to be taken care of, the limos have to arrive on time, and the pallbearers are there. It's event planning. And what I think may surprise lots of people is that it's just like any other job. There just happens to be dead bodies everywhere.

You wore $600 Gucci heels on your first day only to have them ruined by corpse fluid. How did your wardrobe change during your time at the funeral home? There is a dirty aspect to this job. For one, I had no idea that bodies leaked. I've learned to live in Aerosoles — I could become the spokesperson for Aerosoles if they'd hire me! I also didn't realize how much manual labor I would be doing. I learned not to wear skirts because you're constantly bending over and lifting things. Suddenly my wardrobe became all black suits. And I had to do lots of dry cleaning. A big flower in the funeral industry is the stargazer lily and that orange pollen will get all over you and your clothes.  

Was there ever a moment you regretted your decision to work in the funeral industry? I never regretted my decision. No matter what came about, it was an honor and thrill to be there. I will say though, every "first" came with a bit of throwup in the back of your mouth. I didn't necessary have the stomach for it. There were a lot of moments of "Is this really what I'm doing?" I hated giving up being with my friends and family on the weekends. That wasn't something I was prepared for, and I think that's something that's quite common for many people out of college. There's this shock factor of "Wait a second, I'm an adult!" All of a sudden, you have a lot of responsibilities that don't involve enjoying the weekend.  

What kind of pressure goes into planning funerals for the rich and famous? This kind of clientele is a group of people who are used to having things done the way they want them done. Rarely are they in a position where they don't know what they want. And that was really interesting to me, to see people who were always on the top of their game suddenly not knowing the answers to their own questions. And I would also say things are on a much bigger scale than the average funeral. New York City is not a small town where you can throw a funeral the next day easily and have everyone attend. It's a matter of organizing people around the world, and that's a challenge. I grew up with people who are used to having things done really well, so you really want to make sure, no matter how particular they are, you meet their expectations.  

What do most people not know about planning funerals? That you can plan them in advance! If I can get one message out, it's that it's really important to realize this. Just because you plan your own funeral doesn't mean you're going to drop dead the next day. You can help your family out so much if you give them an idea of what you want. Write things down. It alleviates the burden on them so they can just grieve and not question their decisions they made like I do with my dad.

In your book you share stories of some of your experiences at the funeral home: Two women found out their deceased husband was living a double life. A famous corpse arrived without a brain. You almost lost a UN ambassador's body in airport security. At a certain point do you get used to this sort of thing? You never get used to these things. You get used to the fact that you're only there to make the bad better. It's challenge that you get excited about, and you get used to saying, "What's next?" I think it's like any other industry.  

You went from being a socialite to a funeral planner. How did this dramatic career shift change you as a person? Do you think your values have changed? I've changed so much. I look at the old me and wonder who that person was sometimes. As cliché as it is, I absolutely cherish every day. I appreciate all relationships, friendships, and family so much more. You realize every day could be the end. I used to be standoffish with emotions, and I was that person people always talked about as "the queen of repression." Now I run around and tell everyone how much I appreciate them. I accept my emotions. I travel to see the world. I don't put things off. I have a newfound respect for people who do what their heart tells them to.  

You left the funeral home three years ago. What ultimately made you leave? Do you miss it? Every day I miss working in a funeral home. I miss helping families. I actually left to get my MBA because I'm interested in helping families beyond the Upper East Side. I've started my own consulting business. I think everyone deserves a wonderful funeral regardless of your socioeconomic background. I want to make sure that everyone can have a celebration of their loved one's life and be able to afford it.

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Just how easy is it to digitally fake a death?

Killing someone is easier than you might think, or at least getting them legally declared dead might be.

With just a few easy steps, most of them online, a bad guy could "kill off" someone for fun — or profit, according to one researcher.

"The process is quite lax in terms of security in the U.S." says Chris Rock — an Australian hacker, not the comedian — who has been studying security flaws in what he calls "the death industry" for the past year.

Rock said his curiosity was piqued when an Australian hospital accidentally sent out 200 death notices instead of 200 discharge notices last year. "Since then, I've found out that nearly all Western countries have moved to online systems," he said.

In the United States, most states use electronic death registration (EDR) systems to help certify that someone has died. For someone to be declared dead, a medical professional needs to fill out a form affirming the cause of death and a funeral director must fill out another explaining what happened to their remains.

"Universal implementation of EDR has the potential to virtually eliminate death-reporting errors and would ensure that our death records — whether pertaining to current beneficiaries or other persons — include the most accurate and most current information," Social Security Administration spokesman William Jarrett told The Washington Post. The agency has been advocating for a switch to such systems since 2002, he said.

Electronic systems are much faster than the traditional manual certification processes and are "highly accurate" because state officials verify the names and Social Security numbers of a deceased person against the government records before a death certificate is issued, according to Jarrett.

But Rock worries people may be able to fake their way into the EDR systems by hijacking the identities of people normally involved in submitting the death-certificate applications. In some cases, there appears to be nothing stopping someone from finding a doctor's name, medical practice and license number online. Rock's concern is that someone could take the legitimate information about medical professionals and combine it with contact information like a burner phone and an anonymous e-mail address to submit fraudulent applications for access to the systems.

There appear to be similarly weak checks on the sign-up process for funeral directors, he said.

But states run their EDR systems themselves, so there is a lot of variation from state to state and it is difficult to test their security without potentially breaking the law, Rock acknowledged, so it's hard to say just how real the threat from that kind of fraud might be.

Idaho verifies license numbers and will ask for a copy of the license if something about the application raises additional concerns, said Idaho Department of Health & Welfare public information officer Niki Forbing-Orr. The agency's staff also looks into the contact information and may take additional measures if there are questions about an application, she said.

But Idaho has an advantage: The state's small population means the agency's staff basically knows everyone who is involved in the process, she said.

But the process may be less personal in larger states. Washington's system verifies an applicant's name and license status, but not their contact information, according to Jean Remsbecker, a vital records manager with the state's Department of Health. "I'm not sure we have access to that information," she said.

But if Rock is right, the risks for victims of a digitally faked death may be severe. With a death certificate in hand, a person could potentially collect life insurance on someone who is still alive or get control over a person's financial accounts if they take the extra step of faking them a will, according to Rock. It may also create problems for the still living when it comes to collect things like Social Security benefits, he said.

Plus, it's actually pretty hard to "come back to life" after being declared legally dead — and people may not necessarily know if the government thinks they're dead until it's too late.

Take the example of Donald E. Miller, an Ohio man who was declared legally dead in 1994 — years after disappearing on his family. He showed up alive around a decade later and went to court to try to get the decision reversed in 2013. But the judge ruled he was still legally dead because the legally deceased only have three years to contest the decision under Ohio law.

However, it's not clear anyone's actually doing this right now — although Rock figures if he can think it up, someone else probably already has.

But digitally faking a death may just be the start. Rock claims there are similar issues in the way births are registered in the U.S. and elsewhere — leaving open the possibility that someone could essentially "harvest" identities by making up fake babies.

"I call them shell babies," he said. "You could use them to hide your identity, to get a new Social Security number, for money laundering — or kill it off for life insurance."

Rock has a new book exploring the topic, called the "Baby Harvest," and gave a talk about the issue at DEF CON, a recent hacker conference held in Las Vegas.

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